#EVENT {PROGRAM START}
{
     #variable {ssl_key} {mind your own business}
}

#ALIAS {etell %1 %2}
{
     #script {encrypt}{echo "%2" | openssl enc -e -aes-256-cbc -a -A -salt -k "$ssl_key"};
     tell %1 >>$encrypt[1]
}

#ACTION {%1 tells you '>>%2'}
{
     #script {decrypt}{echo "%2" | openssl enc -d -aes-256-cbc -a -A -salt -k "$ssl_key"};
     #showme %1 e-tells you '$decrypt[1]';
     #line gag
}